Beaking News: Movies Not Screened for Critics Not Very Good

Rotten Tomatoes does the math: The record-breaking number of movies not screened for critics in 2006 average only 11 percent positive ratings, and occupy all 10 of the worst-reviewed films of the year slots.

Apparently, the whole of the studio system is terrified that the following exchange will take place within the coveted teen and young adult demographic:
Teen No. 1: "Man, am I ever stoked to be first in line to see ("Date Movie"/ "Underworld: Evolution"/ "The Benchwarmers," etc.)! This film will certainly be off the chain! Oh look, there's my friend!"

Teen No. 2 (running, looking frantic): "Bad news, homie. David Denby, Andrew Sarris, AND Stephanie Zacharek all dissed ("Date Movie"/ "Underworld: Evolution"/ "The Benchwarmers," etc.). They say it's really stupid."

Teen No. 1: "Curses! I'm getting out of the line for this movie, and I shall not be seeing it on its opening weekend. Dear fellow, perchance is 'The Best of Youth' still playing in the local arthouse?"